The flowers and plants started arriving around this same time. And they just kept coming, along with cards in the mail, for about 2 weeks. Our house was filled with them. People were in and out all day for that first week. I swear, all of Mariner high school passed through our doors. We heard from people that we hadn't heard from in years. They had heard about what had happened on the news. The boys' friends set up a memorial site at Cost Cutters, right where the car had come to rest. We went up there that next night. There was a potted yellow chrysanthimum over the spots where Jesse and Jason had been sitting in the car. The 3-4 spaces were filled with flowers, balloons, candles, cards, CDs, Black and Mild cigars, hats, T-shirts and banners for people to sign. Right in the middle was a statue of Mary holding Jesus. Across the lot in another space, someone had spray painted Jesse and Jason's names in Chinese. It was beautiful. I had printed out copies of all the boys' names in Chinese a month earlier for them. They were going to have them done in tattoos. Several of their friends have since had Jesse and Jason's names tattooed on them. I have Jesse's name done on the center of my chest, within a small heart.
My sister Dorothy, and my brother Kenny and his wife, Cindy, arrived the following night, on May 31. My other sister, Diane, wanted to come so bad, but she had just undergone surgery and wasn't able to travel. She felt so bad. We know how much she wanted to be here with us. When it was time to go to bed, Kenny and Cindy slept in our bed, Dorothy on the couch, and Ken and I slept in Jesse's bed. It was the first time we had slept since it all happened. It was somewhat comforting to sleep in his room. Although, we only slept for a couple of hours. The next morning, Dee came over and we started making the funeral arrangements. We had asked the Medical Examiner if Jesse was viewable, and he said no. That made our decision for us and we are so happy that we did it this way. We decided to have Jesse cremated and keep him at home with us. Most of the rest of the week is very hazy. I know there were a lot of calls and people stopping in. On Saturday, June 3, there was a memorial for both boys at Mariner high school. Dee read the poem that Jesse wrote for Marshall and people came up and gave testaments on behalf of both Jesse and Jason. It was a very touching ceremony. The gymnasium was filled. The outpouring of the community was overwhelming. Donations were made to Jesses's and Jason's memorial funds, the kids took up collections at the Cost Cutter's memorial site, churches donated and a friend of ours organized a car wash. Our two boys touched so many lives.
Jason's open casket funeral was on Monday, June 5. Jesse's birthday. When Ken and I went forward to tell him goodbye, I bent down, kissed his forehead and told him we loved him, and to have a safe journey. He was buried in his graduation gown, that he hadn't been able to wear. A picture of Jesse was buried with him. After the service, we went to the home of Chris G. and celebrated Jesse's 19th birthday for him. We barbequed, had cake and watched a video of Jesse doing his famous Raptor impression, and playing football. Jesse was also cremated on this day. His body had come into this world on June 5, and his body left this world on June 5, 19 years later. We had a memorial Mass for Jesse on June 7th. Our son's ashes now sit atop a speaker in our living room. His first pair of walking shoes rest on top of his urn, with his picture beside it. We put a rosary, pictures of all of his close friends, a picture of us, a picture of Jason, and pictures of Jesus and Mary, inside with his ashes. We have painted his room and hung one of the signed banners from Cost Cutter's up on the wall, along with picture collages of him and momentos from the memorial site. We put most of his room back the way he had it. Ken and I wanted a place for his friends to come and feel comfortable in. Several have come by and spent time with us and Jesse. Sometimes they take him into his room and listen to music. It's comforting to us to still have them come by. Outside his window, we have planted a memorial garden, where he had cleared it the year before. He was going to plant flowers that summer. So we did it for him. Amongst the flowers,there is a statue of Mary in the center, an angel in one corner, and two stones with verse. The stone in front of Mary says, 'One is nearer God's heart in a garden than anywhere else on Earth.' The other one, which is in front of the garden says, 'If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again.'
We started taking flowers up to Cost Cutter's every Tuesday and on the 30th of every month, for the boys. Now we just take them up on the 30th of each month, and will continue to do so.
I will not put all of the investigation notes in this work. Instead I will insert links to the newspaper articles. Just let it be known in short, that Dennis Cramm murdered our boys, and is now serving a 60 year sentence. He will not be eligible for parole, for 50 years.
There is not a day or hour that goes by, that we are not thinking of Jesse. We are torn apart when we think of it, and wracked with guilt when we don't. Some people have said that it is now time to move on and get on with our lives. How do we do that, when our life is sitting in an urn? We have been through alot since then, but everything pales to losing our son. That is the worst thing that we will ever have to face in this life. Our lives will never be the same without our precious baby. He will live forever in our hearts and memories. No one can ever take that away from us.
God bless and keep you close to his heart, baby boy. We love you. |
